Marie-Helene Tyack on Coming Out at Work: “It Is Still Harder for Gay Women to Come Out”

Lesbians have been fundamental in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights, and we must listen to the specific challenges they face if we are to create a world where everyone can show up as their full selves without fear of discrimination. myGwork spoke to Marie-Helene Tyack, Global Diversity and Belonging Business Partner at Allianz Global Corporate & Specialty, about growing up under Section 28, the lack of representation this led to and why it's still hard for LGBTQ+ women to come out.

Hi Marie-Helene, tell us a little about yourself?

I’m the Global Inclusion Diversity & Belonging Business Partner at AGCS. That’s my day job – I also have a gay job where I Chair the Allianz Global Pride Board and in that capacity, I oversee the 25 Pride networks we have throughout the Allianz Group.

Did you see yourself represented growing up? How do you think this affected you?

I grew up in the UK in peak Section 28 time. Schools were forbidden to promote homosexuality – which means that I grew up thinking that my existence was not valid since it was never talked about, let alone represented. This was also the same in the media – at the time there weren’t many out gay women, so I grabbed onto what I could. I was in charge of my own queer education – I read Virginia Woolf, Radclyffe-Hall, Martina Navratilova’s biography….Any mere hint of a mention of a gay woman, you name it I’ve read it. This lack of representation and feeling of “otherness” scarred a whole generation of gay people, which for me led to some internalised homophobia and deep sense of shame and to be honest something that I carried with me a long time.

That was until Brookside (an English soap opera) and a storyline that changed my life. That of Beth, who fell in love with her best friend Margaret. They shared a kiss – the first pre-watershed lesbian kiss on British TV that changed me. It was the first time I saw someone on TV who was going through exactly what I was (although to be fair I didn’t kill my father or die in prison from heart failure….). The other thing that changed me was Diva Magazine. I remember as a young, closeted, scared lesbian, finding this magazine and seeing this whole world of possibility open up to me. There were others like me – a whole culture associated with being lesbian, and a culture to be proud of! It was through Diva that I met my first girlfriend, and the rest is history! 😊

Do you feel like there is enough visibility for lesbians today?

In a word no – it is still harder for gay women to come out than their male colleagues. We need more women in senior positions to be out and visible and act as role models. We mustn’t be afraid either to push for women-only spaces (and I am including trans women in these spaces too) – often Employee Resource Groups tend to be quite male-dominated and ultimately a little intimidating for women.

Have you ever struggled to come out at work?  

I have been outed at work before – I wasn’t out and had worked very hard at assuming an identity that wasn’t mine (carefully navigating pronouns, weekend plans etc.). When I found out that people knew I was gay, I was absolutely humiliated. I had been pretending to be someone I wasn’t, and everyone knew I was lying, but no one told me and just allowed me to humiliate myself. It was at that moment that I decided that I was never going to let myself be in that position again and ever since that day I have been open and honest about who I am and much happier.

What advice would you give to a young lesbian entering the professional world? 

Be brave, be true to yourself, be different and never change. You shouldn’t have to conform to belong – don’t be afraid to be vulnerable either; this will ultimately be your superpower!

Marie-Helene Tyack is speaking at WorkPride 2023's Allyship for the Uninitiated panel on 22 June at 13.00 BST. Click here to register for free.