Top Tips on How to be an Effective LGBTQ+ Ally

"A helpful way to view allyship is like a journey where we are continuously learning how to approach new challenges and situations to best offer our support"

Mairi Strouts, Alumni Project Manager at London Business School, revealed her top tips on how to be an effective ally. With advice on how to display allyship in the workplace, as well as among friends and family, she also provides insight into circumstances like making mistakes and engaging with members of the LGBTQ+ community.

1. Listen

According to the LGBT rights charity, Stonewall, over a third of LGBTQ+ people feel the need to hide their true identity at work. Listening and making people feel heard is an important part of creating an inclusive and safe environment where people feel comfortable and confident expressing their authentic selves. Being willing to listen to people’s experiences enables allies to understand ways in which we can help and lets people know they can open up to us for support should they need to. Having a human-centered approach means that allies are able to support marginalised individuals without necessarily being able to relate directly to their experience. It is important to remember not to separate our work and personal life of being an ally – those in the Queer community often experience harassment in all areas of their lives.

2. Educate yourself

When we’re more aware of the issues facing the LGBTQ+ community, we have more confidence to be an effective ally. A helpful way to view allyship is like a journey where we are continuously learning how to approach new challenges and situations to best offer our support. It is important to acknowledge that everyone’s experience as part of the LGBTQ+ community is different meaning that it's best not to assume that just because someone identifies as LGBTQ+ that they know everything about the Queer experience. It is a heavy burden for those who identify as LGBTQ+ to be constantly the educators. Education on allyship can take many forms but a few that I've found useful is becoming familiar with the language used within the LGBTQ+ community so we can comfortably contribute to discussions, as well as listening to podcasts, following LGBTQ+ accounts and organisations on social media and exposing ourselves to a wide variety of Queer literature and media.

3. Make mistakes with dignity

A large part of being an ally is learning that it is okay to make mistakes – we are only human and should not be afraid to get things wrong. The important thing is to recognise when we have made a mistake, acknowledge how it might have made someone feel and learn from it going forward. By owning our actions, it encourages others to question their own behaviours and highlights the impact our words and actions can have on those around us. The more we make mistakes, the better equipped we will be to be an effective ally to our peers.

4. Challenge

As allies of the LGBTQ+ community we are in a position of privilege in that we don’t have to fear discrimination based on our gender and/or sexual orientation simply by being who we are, so we can use this privilege to support those who do. By challenging microaggressions or discrimination, it shows that these problematic views or actions are not supported and will not be tolerated today. It can be intimidating to speak up, especially within social or workplace settings but as an ally it is beneficial to become comfortable with being uncomfortable so we can show our support for our LGBTQ+ peers and educate those whose words and actions are harmful. There are specific active bystander frameworks which can be used when challenging discriminatory behaviour such as “Direct, delegate, distract” to help with overcoming the daunting task of speaking out.  

5. Be Visible

The visibility of allies in the workplace is especially powerful for an organisation as not only does this set the tone for a more inclusive and accepting culture, but it also allows members of the Queer community to feel seen and safer at work. There are many ways to encourage ally visibility at work but a few which have proven to be successful are wearing rainbow lanyards as well as pronoun badges, using gender neutral language and offering your pronouns when introducing yourself. London Business School recently launched the pronouns initiative which encourages the use of pronouns in email signatures, as well as sending a message that we openly respect how each other identify. As an ally, it is also recommended that we familiarise ourselves with, and promote, our organisation's relevant policies surrounding equality and inclusion, so that we can advocate accordingly.

6. Engage

LGBTQ+ staff networks are a great platform we can engage with to recognise and celebrate the diverse community within our organisations and help to strengthen the ally network as a result. The PROUD@LBS Staff Network has hosted some inspiring discussions with members of the London Business School LGBTQ+ community who have shared their personal stories. These powerful sessions shine a spotlight on the unique experiences of Queer individuals of all levels and departments across the School which is a great way to give positive representation to the community. PROUD has also led School-wide events aligned with key awareness days and celebrations in the Queer calendar which have allowed more allies to get involved and recognise the true value they can bring to the community’s mission.