A Survival Guide for The Left Outs

November 29, 2017

by Adrien Gaubert

Anyone can experience exclusion or feeling left out at some stage in their lives, whether it's at school, in the workplace or anywhere else. Bad behaviour will be punished by society in the form of exclusion, trying to teach individuals that they don’t follow its norms.

I myself have experienced exclusion once, while I was working for the French administration abroad. My boss was the kindest man on earth but we also lived completely different lifestyles. While he’s straight with a girlfriend 20 years younger than him, I am gay. Despite our different sexual orientations, we were somehow similar. Neither one of us cares about what people think of us. We never judged each other. However, in the office, there was a group of 30-something-year-olds. It took them 2 weeks to invite me to have lunch with them. After a while, they even asked me to go out with them. The boys were only interested in going to some dodgy massage places and we had nothing in common. One night, after my second beer, I told them, I would never go to those places and that I was gay. Their behaviour towards me radically changed. I was no longer invited to lunch, let alone to go out. I also discovered they have been bullying a girl for the past 6 months. I decided I was never going to be hurt by those people. I have always been a social person so I created a new friendly relationship with people working in different departments. When the “mean threesome” saw that I was happy, one sent me an email saying, “you the intern, remember your place.” He made a huge mistake because I showed it to my boss, he stood beside me and made sure those snakes will not bite again. Remember, there is no reason for anyone to be bullied or excluded, not in your personal and definitely not at work.

Here are some tips for anyone that could feel excluded at work:

1- Question yourself

The first thing you have to do is ask yourself if you have ever been excluded in the past and why. Maybe you are too self-focused and talk about yourself all the time? Maybe you are always grumpy or depressed? Remember, your colleagues are not your friends so they should not have to listen to your personal problems all the time. Try to be a positive person at work and bring joy.

2- Ask your colleagues

If you think there is something going on, ask your colleagues. what is happening? Maybe it is just in your mind and there is no problem with them. If the problem persists, do not wait, you have to:

3- Talk to your HR manager

You can discuss your inclusion issues with your manager. He will be happy to help you find a way to make you feel better. Also, if you experience bullying or harassment, he is the right person to talk to. He will have the obligation to investigate the problem.

4- Join a network in the office

You may find people in the LGBT network that have a common interest with you. It will be refreshing and people there are most of the time very inclusive. They focus on doing something positive.

5- Join myGwork LGBT professional network

Joining myGwork, you will be able to connect with like-minded professionals. Many of them will be happy to have lunch with you and you will feel less alone.

6- Change job

If there is nothing else you can do to improve your days at work, if you feel depressed you do not even want to go to the office, maybe it’s time to find another job. If you were bullied by your manager and HR did nothing when you went to ask for help, make sure you get proof of the horrible time you had. Contact us and we will advise you on the best way to fight back.

Lastly, always remember if you see one of your colleague being excluded in the office, try to give them a hand. It takes just a few seconds to put a smile on someone's face and the reward is huge.

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www.mygwork.com

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