Allyship in Reflection

We’re rapidly getting to the end of what has been a turbulent year. As we enter December, a time of year known for giving and kindness it seems important to reflect on what lessons we’ll be taking forward into 2021. This was a year that for many has been isolating and scary, teaching us that our society is more fragile than perhaps we previously realised. It’s also been a time that’s proven the importance of showing up for one another. We’ve seen first-hand the dire necessity in allyship across our community in protecting and supporting marginalised and vulnerable members. It’s a year that we’ve only made it to the other side of by leaning on one another and this is a lesson we must take forward with us. The battles that we fought this year, against racism, the pandemic, transphobia and more, won’t be disappearing when the clock strikes midnight on December 31^st. Therefore, we cannot let our allyship slip as we enter 2021. In fact, if anything our support for one another must grow stronger, as we continue to do the work to create a kinder world. As LGBTQ+ people we must ask ourselves what we need from allies right now, but also what we are doing as allies to others in our community. As the year comes to an end it’s time to take a deep breath, to pause and take much-needed rest. After all, rest and self-care are an important part of creating change, we cannot speak up for others when we’re not looking after ourselves. Then, let’s end this chapter with a promise; a promise to keep fighting for a fairer world, to show kindness to one another even when it’s difficult, to continue to learn about the world around us and care for each other no matter how different our struggles might be.

Artwork by Courtney Ahn

Allyship is about looking outward at the world and wondering how you can play your part in making it a better place, but it’s also about looking inward at yourself and your own behaviours. We have a tendency of seeing the error in everyone else’s ways but our own, yet our own naivety is not an excuse. We all hold different privileges and acknowledging this important, but it’s also only the first step; we have to be ready to give up the power that comes with those privileges, as we must counteract the imbalance of power across our society. At other times, allyship might be doing nothing; giving up our space at the table and knowing when it’s better to be silent and listen. In fact, a lot of the time it’s being quiet and actively listening to others; like really listening. It’s practising our active listening skills, taking what we learn and being unafraid to let it change the way we see ourselves and the world around us. Allyship is learning to let go of our defensive reactions when we’re called out. It’s understanding the importance of those moments in our own growth, that if we’re not called up on our behaviours, we can never change them. Growth comes from uncomfortable moments; don’t shy away from them but own up to them.

Allyship can sometimes be simple, such as supporting an LGBTQ+ small business or cooking a meal for someone in need, but it is also at times difficult and uncomfortable, such as unpacking our own biases and prejudices. We often speak of kindness as if it costs us nothing, which in many cases is true, but kindness can at times cost us an awful lot. Choosing to be kind can be the hard option, the difficult path, but that’s usually when it matters the most.

At the end of the day, allyship is a lifelong promise to actively care for one another, when it’s easy and when it’s not. It’s learning about people with different lived experiences from our own and believing them when they tell us. It’s not demanding emotional labour but seeking out knowledge from the world around us and paying people for what they teach us. Allyship will always be ever-changing as it must adapt to the world around us and it has to be intersectional, uplifting marginalised people and protecting vulnerable communities. So, as we come to the end of a year that most are happy to see the end of, let’s be ready to enter the new one as a global community that will settle for nothing less than equality for everyone with no one left behind. Our journey as allies to one another is only just beginning and it won’t be easy, but we have no other choice.