Common mistakes allies to the LGBTQ+ community make and how to avoid them

Displaying open and authentic allyship to the LGBTQ+ community is a vital role in the ongoing fight for equality and acceptance. Unfortunately, even well-intentioned allies can sometimes make missteps that can undermine their support. Here are some common mistakes allies make and suggestions on how to avoid them.

Assuming everyone is out

One common error allies make is assuming that everyone in the LGBTQ+ community is out or comfortable with their identity being discussed openly. This can lead to unintentional harm or discomfort.

Respect individuals’ privacy and let them disclose their identities on their own terms. Always be mindful of the context and consider whether it’s appropriate to discuss someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity. When in doubt, ask respectful questions to gauge comfort levels.

Using Incorrect Pronouns

Misgendering someone by using their deadname or incorrect pronouns can be a significant source of distress for LGBTQ+ people, particularly for transgender and non-binary people.

Take the time to learn and use the correct pronouns for the people you meet. If you make a mistake, apologize quickly, correct yourself, and move on without making it a bigger issue. Consistently practice respect by incorporating inclusive language in your daily conversations.

Speaking Over the Community

Allies sometimes take the conversation away from LGBTQ+ voices, which is counterproductive. This can manifest as speaking for the community or prioritizing their own opinions over those of the community.

Listen actively and create space for LGBTQ+ voices. When discussing LGBTQ+ issues, amplify their narratives and experiences rather than overshadow them with your own thoughts. Use your platform to promote and share stories and concerns from the perspective of the community.

Focusing Solely on the LGBTQ+ Community During Pride

While Pride Month is a time of celebration for the LGBTQ+ community, some allies confine their support to this period alone, neglecting the ongoing struggles faced year-round. Remember, Pride isn’t just a party – it's a protest.

Allyship is a continuous journey. Engage in advocacy, education, and support of LGBTQ+ rights beyond Pride Month. Participate in local events, educate yourself about the community's history and current challenges, and support LGBTQ+ businesses, nonprofits, and initiatives throughout the year where possible.

Being a true ally to the LGBTQ+ community requires ongoing learning, active listening, and a commitment to supporting others authentically. By recognizing these common mistakes and working to avoid them, allies can make a meaningful impact and contribute to a more inclusive society for everyone.

Learn more about how to be an authentic ally by attending the upcoming myGwork panel, LGBTQ+ Allyship and Beyond. With perspectives from LGBTQ+ professionals and life-long allies to the community, this is an unmissable event for people who want to expand on their allyship.

Sign up for the panel here.