Creating a safe space: coming out at work as a bisexual professional

My name is Ashleigh Cooper. I'm a committee member of our Pride network, EqualiTW, and a Subject Matter Expert in Credit Control at Taylor Wessing LLP — a global law firm supporting the world’s most innovative people and businesses.

As we celebrate Bisexual Visibility Month, I wanted to share a little about myself — and maybe someone reading this will connect with my words.

My Coming Out Story

I’m lucky to have a positive coming-out story. My mum has always made it clear that her love is unconditional. She raised me to be confident, to stand up for myself and others, and to embrace being different.

That said, she still assumed I was straight — and as a sassy 15-year-old, I definitely used that to my advantage! Boys weren’t allowed to sleep over, but my “friend” could stay whenever she wanted. When she caught me kissing that friend, the only thing she was mad about was me bending the rules.

I love sharing this story because it surprises people how easily my mum embraced my queerness. They often ask if there was backlash or fear, but I remind them: kissing a girl isn’t something punishable.

And when I told my grandparents, they jokingly (or maybe seriously) thought it meant having a kink for saucepans — a classic misunderstanding of what pansexuality actually means!

Have I Always Felt Comfortable Being Out at Work?

I’ve always felt quite confident about being out in the workplace, but it’s always been with the knowledge that things might turn sour — and I’ve prepared myself for that possibility.

Before going to an interview, I research the company’s approach to inclusion, looking at the representation of BIPOC, women, and LGBTQ+ people. It’s part of my prep, and I use the interview to confirm whether the employer will be a safe space for me. That’s actually one of the things that sold me on Taylor Wessing before I even applied — the visible commitment to inclusion and representation made me feel like I could be myself here.

Myths and Misconceptions Around Bisexuality

I identify as Pansexual, which falls under the bisexuality umbrella. Pansexuality means being attracted to people regardless of their gender identity — it’s about connection beyond gender.

Here are three common misconceptions I’ve encountered:

1. “It’s just a phase — you can’t make up your mind.”
   This kind of comment can be really damaging. As humans, we have a huge capacity for growth and change, and that should be supported — not critiqued.
2. “You’re with a man, so you can’t be bisexual/pansexual.”
   However your partner identifies doesn’t invalidate your own queerness. If society assumes you’re in a heteronormative relationship, that doesn’t require you to change who you are.
3. “You’re more likely to cheat.”
   I’ve heard this from both queer and straight communities. Just because our attraction is more fluid doesn’t mean our morals are.

Advice for Coming Out in the Workplace

How you choose to come out depends entirely on how public you want to be. Personally, I believe queerness should be common and not surprising — so I don’t hide anything when talking about my life. If people are taken aback, I keep things lighthearted but also challenge why it was surprising.

I’ve also written something similar to this for Pansexual Awareness Day and had it published internally — a much more public demonstration of my queerness. But there’s no right or wrong way to come out. It should be about your comfort level and what feels authentic to you.

If your workplace doesn’t feel like a safe space, advocate for yourself. Get an ally or two on board and reach out to your Pride committee. You deserve to be seen for who you are, and being queer doesn’t make you any less “appropriate” for work.

What Allyship Looks Like to Me

We often talk about the big ways allies can show support — and those are important. But for me, it’s the little things that make a huge difference in whether or not I feel seen.

One example is rewiring gendered language. Asking if I have a “partner” instead of assuming I have a “husband” is a small gesture that makes me feel respected. Similarly, when someone talks about their partner, stick to they/them pronouns unless they confirm otherwise. Having to constantly “come out” can be exhausting and repetitive.

How Workplaces Can Make Coming Out Easier

Workplaces can make coming out easier by ensuring constant messaging and visible support. At Taylor Wessing, we frequently highlight awareness days and encourage representation across the firm — and that makes a real difference.

Companies should also have a clear and visible process for addressing any behaviour that threatens a safe and inclusive environment. Processes help, but the energy has to come from the top and be genuine. People follow by example, and leadership sets the tone.

Final Thoughts

Visibility matters. Whether you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community or an ally, your voice helps create a world where everyone can live authentically. Let’s keep showing up, speaking out, and celebrating who we are — every month of the year.