Kelly Holmes shares her journey towards living authentically

Dame Kelly Holmes shared on a new podcast how living “authentically” as a gay woman has “opened up a whole new world,” a stark contrast to her experiences in the army.

The two-time Olympic gold medalist, originally from Pembury, publicly came out three years ago after keeping her sexuality a secret for decades.

What began as a necessity due to the ban on homosexuality in the armed forces turned into a way of life for Dame Kelly, she explained.

As discussed on The LGBT Sport Podcast, this pressure took its toll until she reached a turning point during the Covid-19 pandemic.

“Covid became quite traumatic... I was internalizing those thoughts of 'I don't want to live my life like this’,” she said during the first episode of the new BBC podcast hosted by former boxer Nicola Adams.

According to ‘BBC’, Dame Kelly recalls feeling, while battling the virus, that if she were to die, her family and friends would reflect on the “shame” of her not feeling able to live openly.

“One night, I had to reach out for help... it started the process of thinking 'I've got to somehow allow myself to feel free enough to live my life in the public eye authentically’,” she mentioned.

Reaching a place of comfort in being open was a gradual journey, which included speaking to a psychologist for the first time—a step she avoided due to fears of being outed.

After years of “second guessing words” and “filtering” conversations, Dame Kelly began to share her story.

She expressed: “I needed to explain why I couldn't come out because of the army, because a lot of people didn't know about the army ban... nobody knew that that was actually the underlying reason for not coming out.”

Living openly as a gay woman was something Dame Kelly approached at her own pace.

Having previously avoided any form of Pride celebration, she initially found it “hard at first” to engage with the LGBTQ+ community.

However, now Dame Kelly is “wearing every colour under the rainbow” and participates on stage at Pride events.