Fertility Treatment in the Workplace

This article is written by Laura-Rose Thorogood, Founder of the LGBT Mummies Tribe.

When it comes to starting a family, it can truly be a testing time for any family. However, when it comes to being a member of the LGBT+ community, starting a family can be a minefield. When my wife & I first started discussing starting a family nearly a decade ago, there was no organizations like us, no real social media visibility of LGBT+ families, & no other families to speak to locally about their own experiences. For us, we knew that we both wanted to carry a child each, & so knew we would have to embark on fertility treatment. But still even knowing our chosen route, it was an uphill struggle, full of mistakes, dead ends & winding roads.

Due to the current NHS ‘postcode lottery’, we were aware that our local CCG (Clinical commissioning group) would not cover us for any form of fertility treatment, therefore we would have to come up with the funds ourselves to create our family adding another layer of stress. (We at The LGBT Mummies Tribe are currently campaigning for policy change surrounding this & working with some CCG’s regarding reviewing their own policies).

No-one can prepare you for what you encounter. If working full-time, attending multiple rushed trips to the fertility clinic during lunch breaks or before/after work, numerous medications, the spiralling costs, loss of dignity, failed cycles, hormone changes, diminished mental health & even the possibility of losing a baby. And if you’re the non-bio parent to be, attempting to explain why you have another appointment to attend (that’s actually not for you) can be difficult, especially as you then are lying to your employer if you don’t advise what it is for, which can then have an effect on your credibility later when you announce the pregnancy.

Many feel they do not want to share this information with their employer, & do not have a close relationship with their boss in which they could confide in them about something so personal. Some can feel that it could affect their job, their apparent ‘ability’ to conduct their work effectively & even affect any future opportunities for promotion. Once you have a child, some consider that you may be less ‘present’ at work. Then there’s the gender pay gap & glass ceiling for our community in regards to opportunities (both something MyGwork works tirelessly to increase) & couple it with not wanting to ruin the relationship with your employer or chance of promotion- it is incredibly difficult to

be open about your treatment. I was lucky when we had our children that I worked for an incredibly open & supportive employer REDBOX GROUP- some aren’t as lucky or do not feel they can openly share their journey.

It does tend to be a different ball game for LGBT+ people. Heterosexual people do not go in & proclaim that they are “fornicating & trying to have babies!”-they merely advise around three months that they are expecting. It’s incredibly difficult to hide on average at least 10 medical appointments across a month to an employer, & even more difficult to attempt to have the conversation as to why. Then imagine if you have to have multiple cycles across a year as some have failed- holidays run out, white lies get bigger & employers can grow suspicious. This results in sneaking around to appointments, administering injections in the office toilets & trying to hide your emotions.

So, how do you approach the subject with your employer so you are being transparent & can then ask for support when you need it? Do you even want to? Do you do so, so that you are not rushing around, putting your body & mind under even further stress? As any doctor will advise, stress during treatment is the last thing you need. There needs to be more discussions surrounding how employers can better support their employees undergoing fertility treatment to work to their full potential, whilst in their personal life work towards achieve the family of their dreams. And we as a community need further visibility of our families, to normalise the process & ensure we feel comfortable & secure in our roles to come forward for support.

Links: Website: www.thelgbtmummiestribe.com

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If any employers are interested in any of our Education & Training courses, please contact us.

Laura-Rose Thorogood is the Founder of The LGBT Mummies Tribe, an organization who provides advice, support & a community to LGBT+ women & people worldwide looking to start a family or those who have children. She has been invited to meet the Prime Minister at Downing Street, met with the Government Equalities Office & is working with NHSE/I, RCOG, RCM, H.E.E, & part of The National & local Maternity Voices Partnership, along with being an Ambassador for The Centre for Reproductive & Genetic Health. With her wife, they also work with organizations like Tommy’s, Stonewall, the Miscarriage Association to ensure these organizations are providing appropriate support through their services. They are also actively campaigning for healthcare policy change to support LGBT+ women & people & their families through pregnancy, birth & general healthcare in the fight for true equality.