Half of lesbian and gay parents fear their child will be bullied because they’re in an LGBTQ+ family
June 25, 2024New research has revealed that more than half of lesbian and gay parents have encountered negative comments about their families, with 48 percent fearing their child will be bullied at school.
According to a report by Just Like Us, over a third of lesbian and gay parents have been asked invasive questions, such as “strangers asking about my child’s sperm donor,” with this figure rising to 39 percent for lesbian mums.
According to ‘Independent’, the charity conducted a survey with 1,012 parents nationwide and found that 42 percent of children with LGBTQ+ parents have experienced remarks about their family structure.
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Amy Ashenden, the director of communications and engagement at Just Like Us, remarked, “As an LGBT+ parent, compiling this report has been far from reassuring. Some of the findings are harrowing. There is clearly so much work to be done to help schools and nurseries understand the huge impact that an inclusive – or unaccepting – school environment can have on LGBT+ families.
“My baby is only 10 months old but I’m already worried about what negativity she and our family might face when she starts nursery and school in the future. It’s an anxiety that many of us share as LGBT+ parents.”
One pansexual mum expressed concern about her children attending secondary school after negative comments during primary school.
Shelley, who preferred to remain partially anonymous, said, “My partner and I are two pansexual mums of a 6-year-old boy and a 10-year-old girl. When our daughter was in reception, we had many negative comments, mainly from school staff.”
She recounted an incident where her wife had been asked to drop something off at their child's school but hadn’t informed Shelley prior to pickup.
“When I said I didn’t know what they meant as I hadn’t spoken to my wife, I got ‘well you’re two women so pretty much the same person anyway. What does it matter?’”
Another incident involved a teacher telling her child, “It’s not that you don’t understand, you just can’t be bothered. That’s what you get for having two mums,” when her child asked for help with schoolwork in year one.
Shelley also described older students coming to their home shouting homophobic abuse and putting a burning newspaper through their letterbox.
“We do worry but try to put it to the backs of our minds because we don’t want our children to pick up on it. I’m worried about when my children go to secondary school, I don’t want them to be bullied for having same-sex parents,” she added.
Shelley wished for schools to discuss same-sex parents more casually so it becomes normalised.
The research found that one in 10 LGBTQ+ parents feel “let down by my child’s school not being LGBT+ inclusive.” A third of all LGBT+ parents reported that schools refer to families as “mums and dads” by default, while only one in five said their school would “openly discuss LGBT+ families with pupils”.
Additionally, a quarter of lesbian and gay parents reported that their children have felt “upset or hurt by negative comments at school about LGBT+ people.” Moreover, 24 percent said their children have been “left out of social arrangements seemingly because they are from an LGBT+ family.”
Regarding parental social interactions, 27 percent of lesbian and gay parents reported being excluded due to their LGBTQ+ status. This number increases to 41 percent for transgender parents. A third of transgender parents have heard negative comments about trans people at school, and one in 10 trans parents have opted to homeschool their children to “avoid anti-LGBT+ prejudice.”
Even parents with positive school experiences expressed worries about potential bullying.
Overall, LGBTQ+ parents reported a significant lack of inclusion in schools across the UK, with 15 percent saying they have been treated differently by their child’s school because of their identity.
The independent research was released during School Diversity Week, beginning on June 24.
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