How to Be a Trans Ally

By Andreas Joshua Carver, People Experience Manager at FARFETCH Group

Andreas Joshua Carver is the People Experience Manager at Stadium Goods - FARFETCH Group. He is the founder and creator of a vegan food series that looks at the dining room table as our cultural centrepiece through conversations of politics, identity, community, and so much more. Andreas hopes to cultivate meaningful conversations in both of his roles.

Don't assume someone's gender.

Get into the habit of asking people's pronouns and letting others know yours. This should go for everyone you meet. This will help our understanding to redefine gender expression, while also putting other’s needs first.

Respect the terminology a transgender person uses to describe their identity.

Just because someone may be male or female-presenting does not mean those are the pronouns they use. He/him, she/her, they/them are personal choices and should be respected. You are going to mess up. Just make sure to apologize and validate that their identity is important to you.

Don't ask about where a trans person is at in their process of transitioning.

It is never ok to ask someone about their genital or surgical status. Just like you would never ask a non-transgender person about their genitals or sex life. This is completely inappropriate and should never be a topic of conversation. If a trans person wants to talk about their journey pre or post-op they will bring it up. Otherwise this is no one's business but their own.

There is no right or wrong way to transition.

Everyone's transition is different. Some people who have access to certain medical services will take hormones or partake in surgeries to align their bodies with their gender identity. Others may not feel medical intervention is necessary and will want their gender identity to be recognized without medical care. While others may not have the privilege to healthcare or financial resources, accept someone when they say they are trans. Listen to how they identify.

Avoid ‘compliments’ like, "wow, I would have never guessed you are trans."

Never tell someone they are "passing" for the gender they are hoping to align with. Passing is an offensive term that aligns trans people to the gender binary that we have been conditioned to. Micro-aggressions are embedded in our language. Keep that in mind when talking about other's identities.

Challenge transphobia.

No matter where you are, always challenge those who make transphobic comments. Making jokes about someone's experience is never ok.

Listen to trans folks about trans rights but don't expect them to educate you.

It is important we listen to the voices within marginalized communities. What are their views on healthcare, education, housing, and their rights? We can never fully understand someone’s experience but we can be empathetic and help make their lives better. Although it is crucial we hear from trans folks, it is not their responsibility to educate us about their history, their pronoun choices, or their experience. Watch documentaries. Read a book. Get involved and expand your knowledge.

Donate and Support

Supporting a community is not always about financial donations, although they do help. You can also do so by educating yourself, speaking up about transphobia, volunteering, and so much more.