How To Distinguish A Mentor From A Weinstein (A Survival Guide For Mentees)

After the Harvey Weinstein case, a lot of women have started to open up about sexual harassment in everyday life. In the LGBT+ community, one can experience similar situations very often. Why often? Because the community likes to socialize and you often meet LGBT+ colleagues outside the workplace. The line between mentors, mentees, colleagues and friends is often blurry and can lead to situations full of disappointment.

Mentoring is a very important part in forming career relationships and it is important for mentors to stay in their role as mentor and don’t cross the line with mentees. It is equally important for mentees to be professional and not to look at their mentors as potential dates. People in the LGBT+ world will make you believe they will help you and invite you for coffee all the time, but most of the time you end up disappointed because in their eyes this was not a business meeting but rather a date or predate. We have compiled some tips to help you be a professional mentee and avoid any disappointing situations.

Choose emails over text messages

Texting the person you want to be your mentor is not professional. She or He may be misled about what you really want. Email your potential mentor or send them a message on myGwork. Be clear in explaining what you need from them. As we said, there is nothing to feel bad about asking someone to help you with your career. If an experienced professional sees potential in you, they will be happy to help you succeed.

Choose coffee over drinks

Some of the people you will approach will ask you to meet for drinks. Red flag. You DO NOT go meet your mentor for the first time for drinks. After pint number two you won’t be able to focus properly and it will end very badly for you after the fourth. You may wake up in your potential mentor bed and all your efforts to meet someone that will help you with your career will be vain. Instead of drinks, suggest having a coffee. You will look professional and focused, your mentor will like this.

Keep your reputation up

Don’t go hitting on people at networking events since these events are meant for business. Gossips move very fast. If you start sleeping with one of your potential mentors, people will only be interested in sleeping with you and not in the professional you. Those events are designed to network not to find your new sex or life partner, people tend to forget that.

Meet in a neutral place

Never meet your mentors at their house. These personal spaces are beyond professional limits. If you go to their house, they will think you are ok with getting intimate with them. Choose a place outside.

Come prepared to the meeting

There is nothing more upsetting for a mentor than seeing his mentee lacking focus or ambition. Your mentor is not your mum or dad. He is not here to motivate you, he is here to give you guidance and set you an agenda for your success. Before you attend your meeting, be sure to have a clear idea on how your mentor can help you and explain to him why you chose him.

Consider finding a mentor from a gender you are not attracted to (if possible)

The LGBT+ community needs to federate around hard work values. Why not considering pairing up a lesbian woman and a gay man for mentoring. While sharing more common interests than what one might think, there will be no sexual attraction and everyone will be focused. Plus it will shut the mouth of anyone saying that lesbians and gays do not get along.

What should you do if your mentor turns out to be a Weinstein?

Leave! Don’t waste your time on these individuals. From the start, they have seen you as a pray and not as a smart professional. There are thousands of people willing to help the future generation of LGBT+ succeed so just keep your eyes open. Contact myGwork now and we’ll help you find your personal mentor.

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