LGBTQ+ Parenting: How to Start Your Family

The number of LGBTQ+ parents has grown exponentially over the past decade. Families outside of the traditional are now becoming commonplace as stereotypes and barriers have been broken down. For LGBTQ+ people there have never been more options when it comes to growing your family. However, navigating these can be complicated and knowing where to start can seem like a maze. On top of this, you need to get your head around the terminology and differences between options.

To help you, we’ve covered the basics, because parenting is complicated enough without any additional confusion.

Adoption

Same-sex adoption is now possible in many countries around the world.

In the UK adoption is done through a local authority or an adoption centre. The first step is to contact adoption centres and they will then complete your initial check and registration. You can then expect training and several assessments before you are matched with the right child.

You may also find it useful to attend adoption events and open days to learn more about the process. PACT is one of the largest adoption charities in England and a great place to start for more information, including an Adoption guide and events.

Fostering

Fostering is similar to adoption, but it is often temporary. It can be very rewarding to become a foster parent and offer a safe home to a child who is unable to live with their birth family. Another difference is that adoption is a legal process whereas fostering is not as it goes through a social worker.

To become a foster parent in the UK you must first go through an application process where you assigned a social worker who will assess your suitability and offer support if you are to go ahead with it.

LGBTQ+ families are welcome to foster children, but a third think they will face barriers because of their sexuality or gender expression. This is why Rainbow Fostering exists to support and encourage more LGBTQ+ foster parents.

Surrogacy

Surrogacy is an arrangement where a woman (or a person with a uterus) agrees to carry a baby for another person or couple. This would usually involve a legal agreement to confirm who would become the baby’s parent upon birth. This is a common process for many LGBTQ+ families as well as families that may have trouble conceiving themselves.

This is usually done via IVF and can involve one of the parents-to-be supplying the egg or sperm, so the baby would be genetically related.

TwoDadsUK launched three years after starting their surrogacy journey in 2015 to help other LGBTQ+ parents navigate this process in a way that’s accessible and straightforward. They have a network of clinics, surrogacy agencies, family lawyers, surrogacy experts, egg banks and counsellors, all of which can be invaluable to someone wanting to start this journey. Their resources are a great place to start if you are wanting to find out if this could be the best option for you.

Intrauterine Insemination (or Artificial Insemination)

This refers to the fertility process of inserting sperm into a person’s womb. This is usually done in cycles, and it can take several cycles to achieve pregnancy, taking on average around 3 cycles.

The sperm is collected from the donor and put through a process called “sperm washing” and is then inserted into the womb when the person is ovulating.

This can be done as a part of surrogacy, or for someone to become pregnant with their own child. It’s common for same-sex couples as well as couples who may have trouble conceiving through other means.

Co-parenting

Co-parenting is when two or more people (who are not romantically involved) come together to parent a child. This can be through adoption, surrogacy or any other means. There are also many ways this may present itself, for example, two friends or two friends and their partners may parent a child together.

Legally, you won’t have sole custody of the child. Depending on where you based, you can usually only have two people as legal parents and it’s advised to seek legal advice early in the process.

It’s also a good idea to clearly understand what each parents’ responsibilities will be and the day-to-day arrangements from the beginning.

However, you decide to start your family, what matters is that your child is loved and supported. Over the past decades, we have seen LGBTQ+ families normalised and the options available to them grow. As we continue to fight for LGBTQ+ rights we hope that as a society we will learn that families can come in many forms and that more families outside of the traditional will flourish.