Looking After Your Mental Health at Work: 5 Tips for LGBTQ+ Professionals

By Drey Ezekiel-Meade, Software Engineer & LGBTQ+ ERG Chair at Virgin Media O2

By day, I am a Software Engineer working in the AI space, figuring out how we can use technology to improve business and customer experiences. Alongside that, I chair Proudly, Virgin Media O2’s LGBTQIA+ Employee Resource Group (ERG), where I focus on creating a workplace culture that feels safe, welcoming and genuinely inclusive.

Mental health challenges have been a constant in my life. Growing up, I was one of only a handful of openly gay people in my school and local area. That came with bullying, isolation and a constant feeling of being othered. For me, that was where my depression first took hold.

When I got to university, things shifted again. I was navigating academic pressure and life as an autistic person in environments that did not always feel built for me. Trying to push through led to burnout and moments where I did not recognise myself. I eventually found a better balance through the right medication, structure and asking for help.

As someone who is part of the LGBTQIA+ community, mental health is not just shaped by work or personal life. It is also shaped by identity, past experiences, pressure around being out or not, and the exhaustion of code-switching. It all adds up.

Here are five things I have learned.

1. You do not get extra points for struggling in silence

For a long time, I thought I had to deal with things on my own. Keep going, do not complain, be resilient. Looking back, part of that came from being autistic and internalising what I was struggling with. Opening up does not mean sharing everything with everyone. It can start with one person. For me, talking to my girlfriend and my mum and listening to their perspectives made a big difference.

If you are LGBTQIA+, this can feel even harder, especially if you have spent years learning to hide parts of yourself to stay safe. You still deserve support for all of who you are.

2. Find what works for you and accept what does not

There is a lot of advice about mental health, and not all of it will work for you. I have tried different approaches. Therapy did not work for me. Exercise on its own was not enough. Staying constantly busy made things worse. What helped was a combination of the right medication, structure and understanding how my brain works.

Through Autism Spectrum Disorder coaching, I was given practical and tailored tools, such as building a workplace passport, to help communicate my personal work-related preferences in a professional and accessible way. Looking after your mental health is about building your own toolkit.

3. Burnout is not always obvious

I used to think burnout meant completely stopping. In reality, it looked like being constantly busy, easily frustrated and mentally checked out. For LGBTQIA+ professionals, there can be added pressure to prove yourself, represent your community or get things right all the time. That pressure builds.

You are allowed to step back. You are allowed to not be ‘on’ all the time. Taking time to do the things you love can help. One of our benefits at Virgin Media O2 is our Take Five volunteering days. We get five paid days’ leave per year, and I can use this to support local communities, something I’ve been lucky to do with our initiatives, such as Girls in Data, to help introduce the world of data as a career to young girls.

4. If your workplace offers support, use it

At Virgin Media O2, I have been able to access workplace adjustments, flexibility and mental health support such as BUPA Healthy Minds through our private healthcare, which has made a real difference. Support has been offered without judgment and without me feeling like I need to apologise.

We have some great ERGs across Virgin Media O2. As well as Proudly, we have groups which represent people from Global Majority group backgrounds, people who are neurodivergent, unpaid carers, women, and disabled people. They have helped shape policies, raise issues and improve how people experience work. Inclusive policies, flexible working and mental health resources are not extras. They are part of creating workplaces where people can function and thrive.

5. Your mental health will impact your work

When your mental health is struggling, everything else takes a hit, and simple tasks feel heavier. For a long time, I tried to separate work from the rest of my life. It does not work. You are still the same person, and what you are dealing with will follow you into work.

For LGBTQIA+ professionals, there can be an added layer of pressure or fear around speaking up. What helps is recognising when you need support and being honest about it, without oversharing and without apologising.

Final thoughts

For LGBTQIA+ professionals, that journey often starts early and in environments that were not supportive. That is exactly why I wanted to take on the role as ERG Chair of our Proudly network. Our Diversity, Equity and Inclusion team, ERGs, Executive team, Senior Leaders and employees across Virgin Media O2 are continuously working together to make sure our company is inclusive and adaptive.

You do not have to carry everything on your own. And if your strategy is still to ignore it and hope it sorts itself out, that one does not work.

Looking after your mental health is not about having everything figured out. It is about being willing to figure things out as you go.