RX Global's Alex Addison on setting the record straight on ADHD

I’d like to set the record straight; or at least a little less crooked, about ADHD. There are a lot of us out here who’re ADHD, an estimated 3-4% of adults in the UK according to the NHS – it could be many more, and like many I have suffered for years struggling to understand how to manage work and life.

I definitely don’t have it all figured out!

I was diagnosed on May 20th, so I’m still going through a process which is really two processes – one where we figure out whether and how to medicate me and make life easier, and one where I unpick a lot of the difficulties I’ve faced and the self-blame that goes with it. Self-blame is a common feature with ADHD – we’re frequently expected to be able to start and stop activities comfortably in life, and for me that really hasn’t always been the case.

Some things I can focus on with a bit of a run-up, and some things seem to be impossible for reasons I can’t understand or necessarily change. A particular challenge is what happens with a 3pm meeting; it makes focusing on anything else before it absolutely impossible – except of course that about 5 minutes before it my brain will suddenly switch tracks to all the things I wanted to be able to do in those couple of hours before it, just at the point where this becomes unhelpful.

It’s a meme that ADHD people who have achieved a goal under extraordinary external stress are told “See, you could have done that weeks ago!” and the answer is that I couldn’t! I wanted to, I could see it needed doing, I could see the importance of it but there was no route for me alone from there to the goal.

There’s something that happens to a person when they can only achieve “normal” under stress, which is that they can start to feel quite broken. It’s really easy to internalize the implicit comparisons the rest of the world is making between you and everyone else and to despair – I’ve definitely felt irredeemable even in the same moments as those around me I appreciate are sharing appreciation for me and what I bring. In trying to make up for what I lack, I’ve been incredibly anxious a lot of the time – in discussing this with a friend they pointed out that anxiety is an incredible coping mechanism for ADHD – but it’s the equivalent of an acid sticking plaster – the wound is covered but it hurts even worse.

It’s almost equally a meme that ADHD people will forget to eat, because we are so focused on something. This meme comes with cruelty more often than curiosity in my experience, but I’d always advocate for empathy even if you’re struggling to understand, and some kind of easy-to-prepare food in the house!

I think I’m most confused by time – alarms and calendars help but I have very little idea of how long a task might take, and sometimes the alarm comes up but I can’t tear myself away from the now. I’ve spent years being late for work, once even getting a taxi up the hill all of 300 yards because I knew I’d be late if I walked. Later simply doesn’t exist for me most of the time – it means a promise I cannot fulfil and a task I can’t even start.

This is not the time or the place to talk about the worst of it, but I’ve been really fortunate with the people around me – a shout-out goes to my managers in RX and RELX who have given me the support I needed to succeed.

If you’re like me, a few short months ago – distracted or forget-to-eat focus, there is no later but only now, always too quiet or too loud - then I will encourage you to recognise yourself for who you are, work with the people around you to find a way, and know that you are not alone. It’s not a moral failing but a disability, the right environment will help a lot and you can help to make that happen for yourself and others.

And if that’s not you, but it’s someone you know, maybe someone you love, then please, if you can, listen, lean in, learn something about ADHD coping techniques and offer help in those formats. You might really make someone’s week.

As for setting the record straight? It’s not laziness, it’s not a moral failing, it’s an invisible disability with invisible barriers, and they can be broken down.