"Loosing a job is a serious matter but unfortunately only to the person who actually lost it"
"Say f*** you to the things that don't matter in your life"
"Be prepared to work your ass off"
Funny how the start of my blogging "career" happens just as I loose my job. I wonder how many blogging careers started the same way... I do say "career" loosely. I believe I've been caught in the wave of dreams where you can work while you sip on coffee or a gin and tonic in the setting of your choice. Sounds appealing right? Well, not when you've just lost your job and are on your last pay week. Living your dreams actually go to the back burner when you are running out of money and know that you have no job to go to. Yet I find myself writing on a blog while I sip on the cheapest cider they have in my local pub. Every £20 I take out seems like £1000 that I won't have tomorrow and suddenly buying organic isn't really that important to my health!
So, how did I find myself in this situation after 13 years working for a company that promised me a lifetime career? Honestly, I have no bloody clue. Loosing a job is a serious matter but unfortunately only to the person who actually lost it. In all honesty, no one (except those closest to you, and I mean direct family, partner and closest friends) really care what you are going through. I don't
mean to sound harsh but its the truth. People, unless directly effected, couldn't give a shit how you will deal with the aftermath of loosing your job. Sure, at first everyone wants to help and is temporarily listening to your woes but after it wears away, they go back to their life. Sounds like I am moaning about it, but I'm not, it actually makes sense and to tell the truth, I would probably do the same myself. But, it has made me realise (perhaps a little too late in the game) that i am on my own. That I am responsible for my own life and that the only one that will get me out of this is me.
On the first day out of a job, I remember laying in bed staring at the ceiling and wondering what I would do after 13 years of building my career, handling major business projects, heading up meetings with teams across the world and dedicating myself to one department and suddenly it all comes to an end. I am now a past memory to that place. I honestly felt like I was useless, my self esteem was rock bottom and I suddenly stared at myself across the room in a world where I could easily fall into drugs, alcohol and suicide. To those who haven't experienced it, it will sound dramatic and I can tell you that it is quite the dramatic experience. It gets so dramatic that you are willing to give up your life because of the situation you find yourself in. However; I was able to pull myself back to reality and think logically. I wiped the tears and dealt with the pain and saw this as a new opportunity, a blank slate and possibly an opportunity that not many people get to start fresh. I had to give myself some rules to keep me in a straight path. These helped me to not cross that line between life and death:
Ultimately, there isn't a perfect solution to how you feel and I promise it wont resolve itself within a week. It'll take time but if you put in the work I promise something will come out of it. When you are focused and ready, be prepared to work your ass off. Ok you wont get paid but you are working hard for yourself, for the reinvention of yourself. Trust me, its time well invested. Apply for jobs you know you can do even if you feel nervous because you might be rejected. Most likely your self esteem is quite low at first but think about it, you have NOTHING to loose. After applying for over 70 jobs and still counting, I have had every frustrating experience under the sun (still with no job). Yet I currently find myself here and focused on success. I often wonder where I will be in a few months time and realise that the only person that knows the answer to that is me.
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