Why We Still Need Pride: “The Fight Isn’t Over”

By Tristan, Medical Copywriter at Avalere Health

Once on a night out, a straight friend asked why we still needed things like Pride and LGBTQ+ employee networks at work. “It’s the 21st century. I don’t think anyone cares about being gay or straight anymore.” I was about three or four drinks deep at this point, so what followed was a somewhat emotional tirade about the injustices still faced by the queer community in the present day, and the continued importance of specific channels where queer people can feel free to express themselves and receive validation from others with shared experiences.

“Queer people are constantly coming out. You guys don’t have to do that,” I remember saying. Talking to friends or colleagues about a new crush or a significant other should be easy, but for queer folks, it often requires a little more thought and preparation.

Tristan on the right

My first time coming out was to a friend in high school over MSN Messenger. I recall the fierce anxiety as I stared at my typed-out confession and my finger hit the enter key. My friend replied, “This is over my head,” and then promptly logged off. A suboptimal reaction, to say the least, but it was the start of my journey toward expressing my authentic self.

Coming out can be as big as a teary confession to your parents that you’re different and as small as casually mentioning a same-sex partner to colleagues at a new workplace. No matter the scale, there’s always an internal calculation, a flow chart of all the possible ways the situation could end. It always takes at least a little bit of courage, and there’s always a mental sigh of relief when things work out.

"Shame and fear of rejection are familiar feelings to many LGBTQ+ people, stemming from years of growing up in settings where queerness was condemned at worst and tolerated at best."

Shame and fear of rejection are familiar feelings to many LGBTQ+ people, stemming from years of growing up in settings where queerness was condemned at worst and tolerated at best.

That’s why Pride is important. Celebrating Pride is recognizing that we are worthy of love and esteem, even from ourselves. It is fortunate to see how far we’ve come and that many queer kids today are growing up in kind, supportive environments where they are allowed to explore and have their identities validated. The progress we’ve made is remarkable, and there is immense joy and empowerment in celebrating Pride. But the fight isn’t over.

Tristan and friends at Pride

Pride is also a time to remember that we and our allies still need to strive for a more inclusive and understanding society. Many queer people still live in places where they could be killed for simply being themselves. Trans people everywhere are seeing their rights eroded and continue to face disproportionate levels of persecution. Queer people of color can still experience discrimination within the LGBTQ+ community from people who should be on their side. There are still inequalities and many wrongs to be righted.

I don’t think my friend fully understood what I was saying at the time, and to be fair to him, I don’t think I was being very articulate. But he was trying, and I was trying, and that hopefully counts for something.